Unconditional love for children
– Mom, do you love me? – when a child asks, wanting to see the feelings of very close people.
– Of course! – responsible mother, and this is true because only the word “love” is able to convey the whole gamut of feelings which she felt was the baby.
Unconditional love for children is to take them for what they are. It’s not admiration and idealization, and respect for the individual small person, willing to understand his feelings. While he may not be agreeable, to make a mistake in something, to rebel against the rules, but feel that there are people in the world who can understand him and help to overcome the contradictions that had accumulated in the shower.
Classic psychoanalysts E. Fromm argued that the ability to unconditionally love inherent in mothers, although not all of them love their children this way. Observing his patients, he concluded that each person is “languishing” under such parental love beyond the terms and conditions, and, if it does not receive it, may fall into a painful condition of neurosis, religious fanaticism and have other abnormalities of the psyche .
Unconditional love and child development
In the psychological literature often cites instances from life, illustrating the importance of unconditional love to children. Here’s one story.
A young boy survived a car accident that killed his parents. Other relatives willing to take him, was not, and the baby was sent to the orphanage. He was too young to remember their parents, so mental suffering from the loss experienced.
However, after some time the boy became unmanageable. He showed aggression towards other children and even the adults went into hysterics at the drop, wet the bed, broke furniture. Because of such inappropriate behavior he was being transferred from one shelter to another, but that changed nothing: the child even stopped in development, both physically and mentally, significantly lagging behind their peers.
And once this is hopeless, according to many educators, the boy noticed one good couple and offered to take him into the family.
First, new parents was not easy to establish a relationship with a rebellious kid, but they so sincerely and deeply attached to him, so loved him that over time the boy was literally transformed: he began to grow, became calm, balanced, stopped at night to urinate in the bed.
Soon teachers, psychologists were forced to admit that he develops by age, in no way inferior to their peers.
That unconditional love works wonders and saves the lives of children suffering from serious diseases, helps to overcome the limitations sent by fate, children with disabilities, we know from many examples from life. Daily and hourly surrounding the child’s affection and care, the mother gives him the strength to endure all the trials and overcome yourself. This is because the unconditional love of children argues, needs no explanation – a mother takes her child not because it is well behaved or “cooler” of all, but because it is perhaps the best that she will leave the world a great miracle, flesh of her flesh. Seeing her attitude, kid imbued with reciprocal feelings.
How to show your child that you love him?
Become for a child his “rear”, “safe haven” where he can come back in any case, whatever you’ve done
Feel free to talk to children on a daily basis, how you appreciate and love them without conditions: “If you behave…”, “If you will listen to me…” Just love and cherish every hour spent together: children grow up so fast…
The child feels your attitude, if you with a warmth and look at it, create eye contact: look sometimes sometimes speak louder than words, and children are very sensitive
Embrace the child, caress him, kiss: physical contact for most young children, is the tangible manifestation of your love
At least 30 minutes a day all your attention undividedly should only belong to a child. Tell your secrets with him, read a book, posites with the kitten, play a Board game, etc. It needs to understand what is important to you and you cherish the time spent with him alone
For parents great happiness to raise children they can be proud of, but you need to learn to share with them the warmth, to take their strong and weak, to respect them as individuals. All this is possible only in the presence of unconditional love to children .
P. S. finally, a great song on the theme of love to the children.