The Divorce of parents and the rights of the child
The saddest thing in our time that Russia is in first place by the number of divorces. In fact, every second pair comes to a sad end, but we should not forget that many have children. They assume a heavy blow from the divorce of his parents at any age. How not to make mistakes and not to lose confidence in your child, this will be our article. The inevitable divorce, both parents come to that conclusion, but what a child feels, sometimes many do not think.
Always tell the truth
This is an important point, it is not necessary for the child to lie that you are all well, tell him about changes in the family, but loyal words. Even a small child, it’s better to know the truth from you than you realize and live in a lie. You’re a parent and you can only give the best to the child, nurture and invest only the best in your child and it will thank you.
Do not swear in front of the child
Greatly aggravates the situation, when parents are not giving importance to words, insult each other and setting a child against a parent. For example, telling the child about dad that he doesn’t like it, mom brings the problems and the baby too. In such situations, the child begins to feel between two fires, and sometimes may consider himself guilty of divorced parents. When a mother denies child to communicate with his father, thus trying to punish her ex-husband and eventually punished remains innocent boy. Not infrequently, the effect is far sadder, a child is like a sponge, absorbing all the words and actions of parents, to continue to benefit from the experience in my adult life, if confronted with a similar situation.
Communication with a new family of one parent
Usually, the reason for the departure of one member of the family is the advent of another life partner. In this case it is not necessary to forbid the child from seeing the other parent. You put a lot of stress has not yet formed the man. The child is used to seeing mommy and daddy together and goes a long time until he get used to the idea that some of them are now not around. If a child without obstruction occurs with the other parent and his new family, he will know that he has people ready to help him in difficult times. Then in later life, when he is afraid for some reason to tell you something and ask for help, he will go to the second parent and will not rely on dubious and strangers.
Hope for the preservation of marriage
Sometimes the desire to maintain a family by any means, which was alone visible, may lead to the child not just the stress and tragedy. For example, in an attempt to keep the family to use an extreme method: “ After the divorce, you will not see the child”. In this situation, one parent can go on the theft of the child, followed by a long trial. Stealing a baby, a person can hide with him in an unknown direction. Baby will be lucky if the new family members will be decent wanting. But if the child will have to endure the fear, to see the anger of adults and abuse to themselves, only by the fact that one of the parents took it into his head all the ways to keep and preserve the decayed family, can, your child forgive you in the future – hardly! What is the number of household crimes on this ground, after which children are injured or orphaned!
Interrogations and lies
For example, you quietly get a divorce, divide the property, but put conditions father to see the child 2-3 times a week. When traveling toddler to dad and his new family, or just walking with the father, on returning home, you arrange the interview. Where he was, what he did, what they talked about with my father. Baby daddy loves, values relationships and is afraid that every word they may affect the meeting with his father. Therefore, it is to learn to lie, to say that suppose a couple of hours, walked with dad in the Park, but actually was a guest in your dad’s new family. He quickly gets used to the lies that he begins to believe in him – and now lies at every turn. Try not to create such situations, so you lose control and confidence in your child.
The child’s trust
Often parents in their quarrels used by the child as a subject of blackmail, or as “a blanket that you can drag on”. Specially arrange scandals, that he was clearly convinced of your rightness. The child does not understand what is happening and instead of being on your side and Harbor resentment at the passing of a family member starts to hate you both.
Going to any actions, just to win the favor of the kid, thinking that he knows nothing, you are deeply mistaken. Giving gifts, in attempts to bribe him, the parents do not think that this child closer to you will not. Before the little man gets a choice and a lot of questions, but how did it happen that someone who was my idol, an example to those whom he trusted, suddenly betrayed him. It turns out that all those who put the mother or father, his deceived. Now my parents believe? What is the guarantee that he will not be deceived again? And most often the child stops believing and father and mother. Remember, losing the child’s trust, you will not be able to help him in difficult times, because he simply will not say anything more.
Coming to such an important step as divorce and broken relationship with your spouse, remember that your problems and controversies – that is entirely your business. A child should not suffer, do not forget about the interests of the little man. Do not allow yourself to be blinded by anger. Do not use it for their own purposes, he may not forgive, but the elbows have to bite you a lifetime! Whatever happens, the child always has the right to remain a Child and be loved by their parents. Don’t turn him into the victim of his resentment and ambition.
And to summarize our article in brief:
– Do not sort out their relationship in the presence of a child
– If life together is not possible, it threatens the life and health of the child, it is better to divorce
– Do not set the child against each other, show him that even divorce will not affect your relationship, and you will always be friends
– Do not place child in front the choice of who to live, take this decision independently based on the interests of the child, who will be able to give more attention
– If the child communicates with his new family parent and it does not affect him, forbid him not, otherwise he will be forced to lie to you
– Do not put ultimatums to save the family the opportunity to see the child. You still not to glue the broken Cup, and the child has a right to a father and mother.
Become your child’s friend and not the enemy!