Parent meeting: why children steal
It is more convenient to consider that the theft most often have children from disadvantaged families. “KP”
Indeed, if the child pushes on the theft of low material wealth and anti-social behaviour of the parents – then it seems to be clear. However, today the situation is that stealing is observed in children from seemingly happy families, in which the level of material security sufficient, and the education of children is given a lot of time…
The reasons for theft can vary, primarily depending on age.
In 2-3 years toddlers often come with walking with someone else’s machine or a doll. However, hardly anyone would think to call such a child thief. The fact is that at this age the concept of “own-alien” for baby’s abstract and inaccessible. And it’s your job to uncover their meaning and content.
In 4-7 years old children already have a certain notion of personal space, personal property and able to clearly distinguish between “mine” and “not mine”. On the other hand, at this age, children are too impulsive, and to curb their desire for them sometimes.
In 8-11 years the appropriation of things is often connected with ill will. Typically, the child knows that stealing is wrong, but is unable to confront my “want”.
In adolescence motives of theft can be very different (we’ll talk about them below), but including it may be already ingrained habit.
THE REACTION TO CIRCUMSTANCES
Psychologists are the most common causes of child stealing.
Trouble in the family. Experts who have studied family child-stealing argue that theft is a child’s reaction to traumatic of his life circumstances. A child from a family or feels that he did not love, or in early childhood experienced the divorce of parents. Using the stolen children trying to get attention from mom and dad – albeit negative.
What to do? Tell your child that you love him and tell me how it is dear to you. Remember that each child is very important care and attention of parents.
Method of self-affirmation. If the child lacks parental care and a sense of importance in his own family, he often begins to seek recognition from their peers. Methods can be “original”: to take from the mother’s purse money, buy some sweets and distribute them to all classmates. Thus a child with one hand, trying to “buy” friendship and good attitude, and with another – raises own importance.
What to do? Explain to your child that there are more decent ways to gain credibility. Help him to find friends and seek the company of children, where it will be in demand. It can be some section, circle – children with common interests easier to communicate with each other. And, you can arrange a children’s party, inviting friends of the child. It is important to stress to them the importance of their child and to show that with him in the family are considered.
The lack of money in the family (ignoring the child’s needs). Poorly dressed children often have in the team is extremely low status. This child understands why her classmates treat him with disdain, and sees the solution solely in the theft.
What to do? Do not neglect the needs of the child. Try to understand what children are living in and analyze whether your child has everything you need. (For more on this topic, we will discuss in one of the next issues of “Parent meetings”).
Bad company. This group of theft, and so-called “theft of prestige” when the need of committing theft peers argue for maintaining the status in the group. Blaming all bad company, parents sometimes too late make sure that the street affects the child’s behavior stronger than themselves.
What to do? Review your priorities. Pay more attention to the child, ask his friends, behavior outside the home.
Imitation of adults. It does not have something to steal. Enough to constantly discuss favorite for our compatriots theme that we have lived a good life he who steals billions.
What to do? Make allowances for the age and prevent your child was present during these conversations. Remember that the key lessons of morality, the child receives in the family, observing the behavior of loved ones, so it depends on you how it will grow.
The extortion. The cause of theft among pupils often become blackmail and threats on the part of students.
What to do? The child should know that in such cases he can and should seek help from adults – parents, teachers – and they will certainly help.
Kleptomania. Despite the fact that anyone who brought something borrowed, we have been slow to write to kleptomaniacs, actually this disease is extremely rare, especially among children.
What to do? Make an appointment with a child on admission to a pediatric psychiatrist.
HOW TO PREVENT
The children’s thievery can be a variety of motives and reasons, however, psychologists are unanimous: they all directly associated with any disturbances in family relationships. It is not surprising that according to experts the best prevention of child theft is the complete mutual trust between parents and child. In a family where the parents don’t lie and you can easily discuss with the children about any topic, the theft is extremely rare.
Also the easiest way to prevent child theft is to not to provoke him. For example, on the one hand, not to spread the money around the apartment, and regularly give the child a certain amount that he can spend at their discretion. It is clear that the older the child becomes, the greater must be the amount.
Each child should have their own personal territory and their personal belongings. If you, for example, gave son or daughter’s birthday a smartphone, do not select it at every opportunity as a form of punishment, otherwise the concept of “own – alien” and not formed. It is important that the child since the childhood knew his stuff personally, but there are General things that he has no right to dispose of, and can only use.
If the child is immensely active, it would be good to direct his energy in a peaceful direction. Lay it on him with some simple duties – pick up from the garden of younger brother, walk the dog, feed the fish, water the flowers, or perhaps to go to the store for bread. In addition, find out what fascinates your child the most (sports, painting, collecting, etc.), and help to fill his life with interesting activities. The man who does what he likes and feels is in demand, need and, consequently, happier.