Men and women in the family

View of the future spouse already occur in children, and quite early. Stanislawska, I. G. and M. V. Zakharov (1998) revealed their presence already at 10-year-old girls who believed that the husband should be kind, attentive, sociable and smart.

While two thirds of respondents were evaluated and modeled future spouse or partner more like close friends than his father. V. E. Kagan (1987) studied the way of the future spouses in middle and high schools. At first this image was not yet sufficiently differentiated.

In the image of the ideal wife boys first place is the love of her husband (76 %), followed by motherhood and raising children (41 %), household characteristics (29 %) and emotional symptoms (warmth, kindness) – 29 %. All these responses fit into the traditional model of a woman “wife, mother and homemaker”.

Among high school students revealed a clear idea of what should be husband and wife. In boys the emotional attitude was attributed more to his wife than to the husband; the latter was attributed more strong-willed qualities, business activity, dominance and less sociability. The same view was available and the girls.

Revealed a significant similarity in the views of boys and girls about the “good husband” and “the good wife” and in the study of N. V. Lyakhovich (1999). The data coincided with those obtained earlier by V. E. Kagan, however, added that the girls believed that a good husband should not drink alcohol, and young men – that the wife should be able to cook.

The explanation of marriage for men and women

Mutual love

Circumstances

Improvement of financial situation

Tradition

Hopelessness

Loneliness

Imitation

Ambitions

Stubbornness

Recklessness

Resentment

Pity

The assertion

Extreme

Owners

Needs and goals are implemented by the men and women in marriage

A look at what makes a family, women and men, according to L. A. Korostylyova (2000), almost the same:

Serves as a support in difficult times.

Relieves loneliness.

Brings the joy of motherhood.

Organizes intimate life.

Establishes the mode of life, diet.

Serves as a support in difficult times.

Relieves loneliness.

Establishes the mode of life, diet.

Brings happiness of fatherhood.

Organizes intimate life.

In women aged 20-30 years leading needs-expectations from husbands following:

1) the manifestation of tenderness and care,

2) sexual satisfaction,

3) sincerity and openness in relations with her husband,

4) financial support,

5) the need to communicate.

Some of the students emphasized the importance of physical protection from the husband’s side, a sense of security.

The distribution of roles within the family between husband and wife

One of the reasons for the incompatibility of the spouses may be inappropriate allocation of roles between them. The most common mistake is emphasized motherly attitude of the wife to her husband: every minute she wants to control her husband, and to guide, as a little boy.

The man in the marriage will begin to assert their rights or will go to another. The same bad effect on male psychology the wife’s desire to re-educate the half. If a woman with maternal syndrome or teaching value their marriage, she has to reconsider their behavior.

The principle of equality

Historically in many cultures when choosing a bride or groom has sought to comply with the principle of equality. It was expressed that the future spouses follow the same rules of life. They have a clear idea of what responsibilities a husband or wife.

The principle of justice

An important condition of strong family relationships is the preservation of the sense of justice. If one invests more, and gets less than the other, he (she) begins to perceive the situation as unfair. Compatibility of partners depends on their ability to maintain a balance in their ability not only to take but to give.

Most of the intending spouses find out the features of character and temperament with each other after marriage. This leads to greater spiritual and physical costs, unnecessary conflicts. One of the ways to figure out how to develop relationships is to commit to paper their views about what should be the ideal husband and wife. Well, if these opinions of the partners coincide. Small differences can be ascertained in the course of the discussion. Fundamental differences — an occasion for serious reflection.

Features upbringing in a family of boys and girls different sex parents

Features upbringing in a family of children of different sexes is due to, among many reasons, and the fact that children at a certain age stage of their development jealousy arises in boys – to the father, and the girl’s mother. In the first case, say, the Oedipus complex (named after the myth of king Oedipus, ignorant married his mother and killed his father), the second is the Electra complex (named after the mythical Princess, which is avenging the murder of his beloved father, participated in the murder of her mother, guilty of his death).

The Oedipus complex is manifested in the sexual attraction to the mother and jealousy of the father, whom the boy starts to consider as a rival for the mother, despite his tender feelings.

The Electra complex is manifested in sexual attraction to the father and jealousy of the mother, which is seen as a rival. The presence of these complexes can affect subsequent attitudes towards persons of the opposite sex even in the period of maturity.

The attitude of the children to mother and father

In the eyes of the children the father is strong, brave, confident, determined, hardy, active and responsible person. Mother in their view is a caring, gentle, tender, responsible, soft, active woman (T. A. Arcancia and Dubovskaya E. M., 1999). The father above will be evaluated, dominance, business activity. Sociability the mother and the father is equally valued (V. E. Kagan, 1987).

A survey of 6,000 adolescents from 10 different countries revealed that see their mother as a bad 9 % of adolescents, and their father as a bad 13 % of adolescents (D. Offer et al. 1988).

The same trend is observed in our country. So, the attitude of difficult children to the father is worse than his mother (S. F. Ustimenko, 1984).

Boys images of the mother and father excellent on the severity of masculine qualities (of father they are more pronounced), in girls, the differences observed in the evaluation of feminine qualities (the mother they are more pronounced).

In adolescent girls as role models by only the mother, boys are more often the benchmark is the father.

To the question “would you Like to learn from the experience in family relationships from their parents?” only 17 % of boys and 4 % of girls answered Yes. Didn’t want to learn from this experience 35 % of boys and 54 % girls. Agreed to adopt partially 48 % boys and 42 % girls (N. V. Lyakhovich).

Daughters are more attached to family and to home than sons. Maybe that’s why daughters more often than sons, caring for their old parents.

Thank you for your attention 🙂

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